I finally just sat down and read from 7.30 pm to 11.30 pm. It felt unbelievable, listening to vicktor and just…reading. I’d forgotten what it’s like to read without having the pressure of looking for techniques and quotes to impress authority figures. Today, I just read because I wanted to. I need to do that more often.
I keep picturing all these little kids in this big field of rye- and nobody’s around- nobody big, I mean- except me, and I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. I mean, if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going, I have to come out from somewhere and catch them, that’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all.
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”—Marilyn Monroe (via thosemoments12)
Please don’t touch me, I’ve come too far to let you bring me down. You think I’m easy, but try as you might, you can’t have me now. These tedious dances we go through, but I’ve memorized them all. I quietly melt down and consent to you, if only just to bawl. As I stare through you and I stand quite still and an alarm sounds just up the road, I can tell you’d like some company, but I can’t fix you and you don’t want me. I call for the witness, present the facts right down to the little things. They say the heart is resilient. In black and white, you swore there’d be no strings. I sneak out the back door, but the devil strikes and I can hear you cry under the sounds of my footsteps. This time there will be no long goodbye. As I stare through you and I stand quite still and an alarm sounds just up the road, I can tell you’d like some sympathy, but I can’t fix you and you don’t want me. How can I trust you? How could you need me now? It’s getting to be so cold. Old. The decision is in that I won’t break, you cut and you run with our lives at stake. Well, someone might get hurt and it won’t be me. The decision is in, there will be no fight. It might sounds cold but I know it’s right because someone must get hurt and it won’t be me.
It’s a youth run organisation, nobody over 26 is in it. It developes communities through education, a lot of fundraising involved. It’s basically youth helping youth around the world. There are six branches in Australia.
I went to the beach today with my family. Here’s a snippet: *natalie’s filling parts of the tent with sand* Me- Those are sand pockets.. Mum- Como sabes? (How do you know?) Me- I read the manual. Also, they’re pockets and she’s filling them with sand..
I watched Marley and Me last night and cried. Hard. Lucy was right. However, when Nat made fun of me with Chris about how animal movies get to me (e.g homeward bound and beethoven- i was 7, i’m not ashamed), I mentioned Dobby and Natalie burst into tears. Sucker.
Oh, I also got an internship at the Oak Tree Foundation in the city. I didn’t mean the “oh” to make it sound like I’m being a dickhead, I just forgot that I had it in the first place.
Today I was reading Battle Royale while my sister was reading Harry Potter, The Deathly Hollows. Well, 45 minutes into our reading session, Natalie started crying. Heavily. When I asked her what was wrong she went into a frenzy about how Dobby didn’t deserve to die. He was a good elf.